To make matters worse the concrete beam shifted and levelled out on my ankle. The
pain was so intense that any movement on my part, no matter how small sent my
muscles into spasm and made me pull back. I couldn't even fight through the pain. I
simply could not move. I was afraid that if I tried again I would pass out. I looked up,
hoping Yvonne had seen me and turned back, but she was gone, all three of them had
been carried away by the current. Even if she did see she wouldn't be able to get back.
So, I thought, this is it. I had done well, and now I could simply fold into the source. I was
so exhausted that I actually didn't care. I found my energy string just as my body
convulsed for some oxygen. I ignored
it. It actually felt good. I sent out a ping of love to
everyone whose energy string I could find and asked the water energy to show them the
location of my body. I lay still in the quiet water, it was calm around me. I felt the
whiteness of the source as
I climbed on board. This was far better than suffering
unnecessarily. I felt a sharp pain in my right shoulder. No matter, I thought, it's time to
go. I love you Dad, mom, Caity, I love you all and I am sorry, but we did well. We did well.
Good bye. I moved into the whiteness.
The Final Chapter
I slept, it was wonderful, I slept long and I slept very well. When I woke up I was still in
the white vacant lot I moved into when I left myself in the water. I looked down, I was
whole, no pain, no problems, dressed in a pair of jeans and a white shirt, my favourite
clothes. I stood still in the white lot and wondered what it is I should be doing. Choosing,
I should be choosing. But what? What should I be choosing?
It came to me, like it always did. I had a choice to continue on beyond the source, a part
of which I was standing in right now. Or take some time off and get a little more rest and
continue beyond the source a little later, if I wanted to. My gut feeling was “why wait”?
Let’s just go now and get wherever it is I needed to go.