them said anything, they just cried. Kayla’s words were enough and they knew if he was
going to hear anyone it would be her.
I didn’t know what to do so I
just lay there and thought about my options. I started to
feel some sensation in my lower legs that made them twitch. I was kicking involuntarily.
I let it happen. To be honest I still had not made a final decision. The twitching in my legs
got me thinking how much I loved the feeling of the physical world, it was different to
here. It was heavier and more individual, if that made sense. It was all about me and my
body and I loved that. The more I followed this train of thought the more ‘alive’ my body
felt, it began to feel heavier.
There was a weight on my chest, slight at first, but it grew more and more pronounced
as time went on. That’s was another thing. I was becoming more aware of time and
space. The warmth of the sun was gone and the picnic blanket I lay on felt different. It
grew a little darker and there was very little light around. The pressure on my chest
focused on two specific points and out of nowhere a pain shot through my entire body.
It scared the hell out of me and I tried to open my eyes and will myself back to the
warmth of the farm but to no avail. My decision had been made and now that it was
happening there was no turning back, no matter how scared I was.
As they grabbed onto Matthew weeping loudly the sound of the flat line on the heart
monitor was deafening. They wept harder, knowing that it was over. It was over. Kayla
flew off the bed in anger and kicked the small silver rubbish bin in the corner of the
room. The rest held on tightly, wishing him to come back, pleading now out loud for him
to come back.